


Until then We'll Have to Muddle Through Somehow (2017)

by IvanW



Series: Ivan's K/S Winter Holiday Collection [9]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alone, Amorous Vulcans, Chocolate, Gingerbread Vulcans, Holidays, Love, M/M, Romance, Secret Kissess, Tipsy Vulcans, Winter Romance, christmas trees
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-10 16:58:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12916272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvanW/pseuds/IvanW
Summary: Between five year missions, Jim spends time over the Terran holidays in San Francisco.





	1. I Left My Heart in San Francisco

There’s just the slightest bit chill in the air as James Kirk held open the department store door for Winona Kirk as they exited.

“Brr,” his mother said. “It’s gotten cold since we went inside.”

“We were in there for hours,” Jim replied, making his tone just a little like a protest. He stopped and adjusted the scarf around her neck. “And anyway, this is nothing like Riverside in December.”

“Thank God for that.” She smiled. “Do you think I got enough?”

“Yes.”

“But maybe—”

“Mom, yes. You got plenty for heaven’s sake.” He looped his arm in hers and dragged her away from the store before she could decide to go back inside.

“Let’s go to Humphrey’s.” Her eyes were glowing.

Humphrey’s was just a little restaurant, almost a diner really, about half a block or so down from the department store. Once it had actually been in the department store or so his mom said. She had a complete and utter fondness for it because back in their academy days, when Winona and George were just new and in love, they’d gone there many times.

“Sure, let’s do it.”

They got seated by the window, looking out to the street, which was shining brightly with red and green lights, and gold and silver garland set up on old fashioned lamp posts. Holiday music played softly in the background at Humphreys. They’d stuffed her shopping bags under the table and against the wall under the window.

When the waitress arrived at their table, his mother turned pleading eyes at him. “Please?”

Jim laughed because he knew exactly what she wanted and wasn’t that a little freaky? Kirk habits died hard. “Fine.”

She beamed a smile at the waitress. “Two hot cocoas with peppermint schnapps.”

“Coming right up,” the waitress promised.

Winona sighed and rested her chin on her hands. “This brings back such memories.”

“I know.”

“You could still come with me.”

“I know that too,” Jim said with an agreeable smile. “But no. This is your time with Sam and his family.”

“You’re Sam’s family too, you know.”

“Just go and have a great time with Sam and Aurelan, Peter and Debbie. They’re excited you’ll be spending Christmas on Deneva with them.”

“But what about you?” His mother grimaced. “Please don’t tell me you’re going to Riverside by yourself.”

“Hell no. Not dealing with the snow. I’m staying in San Francisco.”

Currently, he was on a six month leave, required by Starfleet, before going out for his second five year mission, thank you very much. He couldn’t wait for the leave to be over. But unfortunately he was only about a month into it.

“Hm. Nobody should spend the holidays alone, Jimmy.”

The waitress brought over their spiked cocoa and then looked at them expectantly.

“I’ll have the French Onion soup and a side of garlic bread.”

“The club sandwich,” his mother said. She looked at Jim as the waitress left. “Onions and garlic? Not kissing anyone later tonight I’m guessing.”

He rolled his eyes at that. “Obviously.”

“What about your friend Leonard?”

“I don’t kiss him,” Jim said with a straight face.

“Funny. I meant what’s he doing for the holidays?” She picked up her cocoa and blew on it.

“Spending them with his daughter in Georgia.” He smiled crookedly. “And before you ask, I wasn’t asked, and I would have declined anyway. It’s good for Bones to be with Jo.”

“And your first officer?”

“He’s a Vulcan. They don’t do holidays.”

She took a sip of the cocoa and smiled. “So yummy.”

Jim loved when she was like this. Almost innocent.

“And anyway, he’s probably spending his leave with his fiancé.”

“He has a fiancé?”

Jim shrugged. “Yeah, pretty much. My communications officer.”

Mom shook her head at that but she didn’t elaborate further on her thoughts. “What about that evil admiral’s daughter?”

He laughed again. “Carol? Uh, Mom, she left the Enterprise because we didn’t work out.”

She sniffed. “Just as well. She’s probably as batshit crazy as her daddy.”

“You’re too much. And anyway, I’m fine here. I don’t need anyone to keep me company.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Probably get myself a little tree and some decorations and watch old Christmas movies or something. Maybe make some gingerbread cookies.”

She bit her lip. “Sounds lonely.”

“It’s not. I’m looking forward to it.”

“Don’t let me forget to give you your present before I leave.”

“I told you not to get me anything.”

She arched her brows. “I didn’t listen.”

“You never do.” He took a big sip of his cocoa.

“Remember that Christmas before Frank? It was the last one we had with just you, me and Sammy.”

Jim nodded. “Sure, I remember. I loved that Christmas.”

“Me too,” she said wistfully. “Maybe if you came to Deneva—”

“Mom.”

The waitress arrived at the moment with their food, successfully distracting his mother.

“I just hate the idea of you being alone here,” his mom said.

“I know you do, but I promise it’s all good.”

She sighed. “You’re so stubborn.”

He smirked. “Comes from your side of the family.” He spooned up soup and took a taste. “Good.”

“Unfortunately you’re right about my side. I just wish you had taken after George in that.”

For a moment, he just ate the soup silently. Looked out at the night. “Was there anything I actually got from Dad?”

“Dozens of things.”

He met her gaze. “Like what?”

“His blue eyes.”

“You have blue eyes.”

She leaned her chin on her hand. “His bravery, his command abilities, his brilliance, his kindness, his ability to think quickly…shall I go on?”

“No.”

She  reached for and grabbed his hand. “You’re so much like him it’s scary, honey.”

“Sam _looks_ more like him.”

“Sure, yeah, maybe.” She took a big sip of her cocoa. “He’d be so incredibly proud of you.”

Jim nodded and went back to his soup. “You going back to Riverside when you’re done visiting Sam?”

“Oh, probably. You want to come stay with me? The old farmhouse gets kind of lonely with only me.”

He made a face and didn’t meant to, or at least he meant to hide it, anyway.

She sighed. “He’s long gone.”

“I know.”

“I just wonder if you’ll ever forgive me for making the mistake of marrying that man.”

“I have,” Jim assured her. He shrugged. “I haven’t ruled out the farmhouse. I just prefer San Francisco right now.”

“All by yourself.”

“Just for now. When the Enterprise goes back up I’ll have a ship full of people for another five years.”

She gave him an unreadable look and finished off her drink. Then she leaned back in her chair. “Tell me that’s it.”

“What’s it?”

“Jim, you already died once.”

“Mom—”

“We’re not supposed to talk about that. I know.” She tossed her napkin down and leaned forward. “But it happened. Whether it’s acknowledged or not. You told me yourself.”

“I shouldn’t have,” Jim said softly.

“You’re my son. You shouldn’t keep that from me.” She sighed. “And then there’s the whole Yorktown thing. You almost got destroyed with your ship. And it was your birthday. If you had been killed that same day—”

“I wasn’t.”

She lowered her gaze.

“Mom—”

“At the end of this five years, can you stay out of space, Jim?”

“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I love the Enterprise.”

“You’ve had doubts.”

“I did but those are over.” Jim reached over and took her hand again. “Up there I feel at home. More than any other place.”

She sniffed. “That’s another thing you got from George. And look where it got him.” She looked at him. “I know. ‘Shut up, Mom’. You’ve never done what I’ve told you to do, ever.”

“I’m sure that isn’t true.”

“Will I ever get grandbabies?”

Jim laughed. “Where did that come from?”

“I don’t know.” She pouted. “Just…I’ve loved to see little Jims running around pleading for me to pick them up and carry them.”

“You have Sam’s kids.”

“Is that a no?”

“Kids in space…” He shook his head.

“I know,” she said softly. “Our plans after you were born were to get transferred off the starship. Sam was with my parents. We were going to be a family, the four of us.”

Jim didn’t know what to say so he just nodded and squeezed her hand.

She seemed to shake herself. “Look at me being all maudlin when we’re having our time together for the holidays. This is our only time. Jim—”

“No, Mom.”

“Fine.” She laughed.

“Send me a message when you get there, yeah?”

“Of course I will. I love you, Jim.”

“Love you too, Mom.”

****

He saw her off at the passenger ship bay and even made sure she got on it.  She never stopped trying to talk him into going with her but finally he had peace and solitude. And a bag with a red-wrapped box in it that she had left with him.

He walked back toward his temporary apartment. There was a little grocery store along the way and he wanted to get a few things for his own private celebration. 

The wind was picking up so he pulled his coat up around his neck. He’d never been a fan of the wind and there was something of a chill in it.

 When he reached the store he squeezed inside just before a group of kids closed the door on the way out.

Jim saw her almost immediately and she definitely saw him. She smiled wide and friendly. It had been literally years since he'd seen her and since she was a twin he wasn’t even sure what her name was.

That was quite the time for him, he recalled. And the two Caitian females had been pretty nice to him. So this was either R’Mira or S’Niia. He had difficulty telling them apart back then and now? Well.

“Jim!” She exclaimed as she embraced him very tightly. He had to jostle the bag containing his mother’s present.

“Oh, hey.”

She stepped back and looked at the bag. “Ooh, a present. For your wife?”

Jim laughed. “No. Hardly. No. It’s actually from my mom.”

“Your mom, huh?”

“Seriously. How are you? You look great.”

“I’m grreeeaatt,” she purred. “Even better now that I ran into you. S’Niia will be so jealous.”

R’Mira then.

“I doubt either of you have given me a second thought over the years.”

“Oh, believe me, we have. You were so good at eating…pussy.” She laughed.

And Jim knew he was blushing bright red. He glanced around the store but no one seemed to be paying attention, thank God.

“So, please make my night and tell me you don’t have a girlfriend,” R’Mira said.

“I don’t, it’s true,” Jim said, but then backed up a step when an eager glint shone in her eyes. “But, um, sorry, I’m not-I’m not available for that.”

“What?” She pouted. “Why?”

He glanced away, looking over the small market. “That’s the old me.” He looked back at her. “The new me just doesn’t go for the one night stands.”

She stared at him, her eyes narrowing. “It doesn’t have to be for one night. How long are you on Earth for?”

He smiled. “A while. But it would still be just a fling.”

“Wow. I never thought someone would capture your heart, Jim, but someone has.”

“No.” He shook his head, immediately denying. “It’s not like that.”

“Oh, I think it is. Who is _he_?”

He felt himself blush again and wondered when he’d gotten to the point he was both this transparent and this easily embarrassed. Times had changed.

“Someone extremely unattainable.”

“For you?” R’Mira shook her head. “I doubt there’s anyone in the entire universe you couldn’t obtain if you wanted them.”

“You’d be wrong.”

“Well, then he’s easily the biggest fool.” She stepped close and embraced him again, not quite as tight this time. She tucked a strand of his hair back behind his ear.  She gave him a teasing smile. “Is that regulation length?”

“I’m currently on leave,” he said with a laugh. “I’ll cut it again when the time comes.”

R’Mira released him and stepped back. “Happy Holidays, Jim.”

“See you, R’Mira.”

After waving goodbye at her as she left the store, Jim went to pick up what he would need for the Jim Kirk Christmas. He even picked up a little live tree in a pot that was sparsely decorated with tiny red and green glass balls and some gold sparkly garland.  

It was quite a load to get up and into his apartment, but he managed, kicking the door closed as he entered his cold, dark space.

“Lights,” he called out, and the place was instantly illuminated.

He tossed the red box and the grocery bags onto the sofa and carried the tree in its pot over to the spot next to the fireplace.

This apartment actually belonged to Pike’s widow. Shortly after Pike had been killed and Khan had destroyed so much of the city, she had retired and stopped coming to San Francisco altogether. She had generously informed Jim that he could use the place whenever he was not in space. When they’d been given leave between missions, Jim had contacted her to see if it was still available. It had been.

Jim went and got a pitcher full of water and poured it into the soil surrounding the tree. He walked over to one of the bags and pulled out a package of battery operated lights and wrapped it around the tree too.

He smiled at his handiwork and then took the groceries into the kitchen.

There was a flashing light on his PADD indicating that he had received a message. He’d left it there on the kitchen counter all day while he’d been out with his mother. Probably pretty irresponsible of him. He hoped the universe wasn’t about to end and he’d missed the call to arms.

He shook his head at his foolishness. Pressed a button and a holo of his brother popped up.

_Hey little brother. Mom says you aren’t coming with her for the holidays and I hope that’s not true. Please come with her? We all really want to see you. And if you’re going back up on another five-year mission that will be another five years before we see you again. Everyone really wants you here. So I hope when I meet Mom’s shuttle, you’re on it too. Sam out._

Well, hell. Jim winced. He would have seen this before his mom left if he had taken it with him. Would he have changed his mind? He might have? Sam sounded and looked sad.

“Neither of us will ever make brother of the year,” Jim said out loud. “Sorry Sam.”

He was. But it was most definitely too late. And part of him was glad he’d missed the message. 


	2. Home is Where the Heart is

Jim poured himself a glass of wine and put on a recording of old Earth Christmas music. He went out onto the balcony of the apartment and stood against the railing. The sun had gone down completely and the winds were much calmer now. Still a little cold, but he could deal with it for a bit.

It felt good whenever he was on Earth to breathe real air instead of the canned stuff on the Enterprise. The air here was always just a bit different than the air in Iowa and he couldn’t quite explain it.

Truth be told there was a part of him that missed it there and he’d wondered if it had been a mistake to choose to stay in San Francisco over the holidays. The air was fresher and the sky clear and beautiful. You could see stars that felt so close you could touch them. When it wasn’t snowing.

The idea had crossed his mind of someday retiring there, maybe getting a few horses. Not that he’d ever ridden one. But he didn’t exactly see himself as a gentlemen farmer.

He would stay out in space as long as the ‘Fleet would let him. And then?

Well, Jim didn’t really know.

He didn’t see himself at a desk job but realistically there would come a time when they would force him to be grounded. It didn’t have to be on Earth, though. Maybe he could spend his time on a space station or something. There was very little lacking in a place like Yorktown.

A snow globe as Bones had called it.

Jim smiled faintly and took a sip of his wine.

He didn’t see himself settling down with a spouse and family either. Like Sam. Even as a boy that had never been his vision. And as he progressed into adulthood it had become even less so.

Long ago conversations that he’d had with Ambassador Spock had given him the information that his own counterpart had never had that sort of life either. Though the ambassador had never precisely said, Jim had the distinct impression they had a very intimate relationship. He’d asked older Spock once what had been Kirk’s fate in his timeline and he’d gotten this very sad look on his face and a far off look in his gaze that had made Jim regret bringing it up.

_“I’m sorry,” Jim had said quickly. “You don’t have to tell me.”_

_The ambassador was on the view screen of Jim’s quarters and he had definitely noticed a growing frailness in the old Vulcan._

_“Your fate will not be the same as his, Jim,” he’d said cryptically._

_“I know but—”_

_“Suffice it to say that I miss him. Every day,” were his soft words._

And Jim might have cried a little after the conversation ended. It wasn’t that long after that he had died and all the crap with Altamid happened.   

He’d never let on to anyone that he had kept semi-regular contact with Ambassador Spock. Not even Bones. He kept his sadness over old Spock’s death to himself. Like he did most things.

He shook his head at his own melancholia and took two more sips of wine. The chill began to get past his defenses, so he turned and went back into the apartment.

The place should make him sad, he supposed, for the life Pike and his wife had been cheated out of, but for some reason he always found comfort and warmth being there.

He hummed along with the music and went into the kitchen with the intention of beginning his baking. Hell, he hadn’t baked cookies in years. When he was a damn tow-headed kid. He bent down into the cabinet to get a mixing bowl when there was a knock on the apartment door.

Jim didn’t know how a knock could sound tentative, but this one did. As though the door hadn’t been sure it should make the sound.

Maybe he’d had too much wine. He set the mixing bowl on the counter and headed over to the door, opening it.

His mouth dropped open upon seeing who stood there.

“Spock?”

“Good evening, Captain.”

Jim blinked several times and then looked past Spock to search for Uhura. But Spock seemed to be alone.

“Um. Come in?” It sounded like a question and Jim guessed it was. He couldn’t imagine why Spock of all people—Vulcans—would show up on his doorstep.

Spock stepped inside and Jim closed the door.

He was dressed all in black, black pants, black sweater. It was a damn good look for him and Jim often wondered if he absolutely knew it.

“Where’s—” He paused to moisten his suddenly dry lips. “Where’s Uhura?”

“New York City.”

“Oh.” Jim processed this. “And you’re not.”

“Nyota and I have…parted ways as far as our romantic relationship. She has chosen to spend her time with a couple of friends there. Janice Rand and Christine Chapel.”

For the first time, Jim noticed that Spock carried a small travel bag. Maybe he was a little slow, but he was trying to figure out what all this meant.

“We want different things,” Spock continued to explain. “I considered going to New Vulcan—”

Jim’s gaze flew to Spock’s face as he felt the color drain from his face. “Again?”

Spock shook his head. “You misunderstand. I meant for the duration of our leave. However, I learned from Doctor McCoy that you were here and I chanced—”

“I’m glad,” Jim interrupted quickly when he saw that Spock was becoming uncomfortable and uneasy. He smiled. “There’s a room on the right of the hall that has a bathroom attached. You are welcome to use that one.”

“I do not wish to displace you.”

“You won’t. I have the one on the left. It’s all good.”

Spock still looked uncomfortable and he lingered in the front hall. “I perhaps did not think this entirely through. If you are expecting company, I can make other arrangements.”

Jim made his smile widen so to relieve Spock of so much uncertainty. “I’m not. I wasn’t expecting anyone.”

Spock’s gaze went briefly to the lit potted tree and then back to Jim. “So you are spending the holidays alone as the doctor surmised.”

“Yep. Well, no. I mean I was. But now you’re here, right?”

“Your family—”

“Mom went to see Sam and his family.”

“You did not wish to accompany her?”

Jim shook his head. “Sam and I have a somewhat complicated relationship. The fucker abandoned me and I’ve never really gotten over it.”

“I…see.”

Jim raised both eyebrows. “You staying or what?”

“I am staying.” Spock walked through the living room of the apartment and toward the hallway containing the bedrooms.

Jim shook his head and returned to the kitchen to pick up his wineglass.

Shit. He wasn’t sure the place was stocked with tea and he for sure hadn’t bought anything vegetarian. There was a replicator, fortunately, but he would have preferred for Spock to have fresh food.

Spock emerged from the hallway in all his gorgeousness and Jim suddenly realized he was going to have a devil of a time resisting Spock looking like this. He vowed to try though. After all, Spock just broke up with his girlfriend of years, and was Jim’s first officer. Thankfully, still. And his friend. Jim wouldn’t want to ruin that. Not even for a stiffy.

“All set?” he asked with another bright smile.

“Indeed. I have never been in this apartment.”

“It’s nice. Number One kept a really great place. I’m glad she didn’t sell it. After.” For a moment he was a little lost in sadness. But then he shook himself. “I can look for some tea in the cabinets but you might have to settle for replicated stuff.”

Spock held up a wooden box. “I have brought my own.”

“Smart Vulcan. Thinking ahead.”

“Indeed.”

Jim sighed a little and took a sip of his wine. _Stop thinking of Spock sexually, you idiot._

“You don’t happen to have a full vegetarian dinner in that little box, do you?”

Spock inclined his head. “Alas, no. But do not trouble yourself. You were not expecting me.”

“No, but you are definitely welcome.” He pointed toward the bowl. “I was just about to mix up some gingerbread batter. Want to help?”

“Gingerbread?”

“Yeah an old Earth spiced cookie thing that people make at this time of year, I guess. I don’t suppose your mom ever made it.”

“She did not. She acclimated herself to Vulcan foods and traditions.”

“Well, they are good. I think. Honestly I haven’t made them in years but I got the ingredients, so…I’m doing it. I plan on making gingerbread people.” He grinned. And reached into a cabinet for two aprons. He handed one to Spock as he put one on himself. His was green with a picture of a spoon on the front and Spock’s was red plaid with a Scotty dog. “You can make gingerbread Vulcans.”

Spock arched a brow but he dutifully put the apron on himself.

“You can be my sous chef,” Jim declared. “I’ve got hot chocolate for later if we want.”

For some reason, Spock’s cheeks turned faintly green, but he nodded and stepped into the kitchen.

Jim took the tea from Spock, their fingers brushing as he did so, and he noticed Spock’s cheeks get darker still. Weird. But he shrugged and smiled.

“I’ll have your tea ready in just a minute.”

“Captain.”

“Jim, Spock. You can’t call me Captain while making gingerbread with me.”

“Jim. I…appreciate your welcoming me and allowing me to stay after I just showed up here.”

“No big deal, Spock. I had no plans.” Jim pulled up his recipe. “Now, um, first we need—”


	3. Shape of My Heart

“Pass me the brown sugar, would you?” Jim asked absently as he continued to read the recipe.

When no brown sugar appeared next to the mixing bowl, he glanced at Spock.

The Vulcan held the box of brown sugar in his hand out toward Jim.

He reached for it and felt the brush of Spock’s middle and index fingers.

“Thanks.” He smiled and measured out the brown sugar and added it to the bowl. “Now I need ginger.”

Once more, Spock held onto it until Jim took it from him.

“You can just place it down on the counter next to the bowl if you want,” Jim said.

“I thought it was my job to assist you.”

“Well, yeah, sure.” Jim shrugged. He opened his mouth to ask for the next ingredient when Spock pressed the jar of ground cloves into his hand, fingers brushing along Jim’s thumb and the palm of his hand as he did so.

“Jim?”

"Yeah?"

“The weather is not frightful.”

Jim stared at Spock. “Huh?”

“The lyrics of the song.”

“Oh.” Jim laughed. “Right. Well. I guess it’s frightful somewhere anyway. Okay, there. I think that’s everything. Now it just needs to be mixed and then we plop it down on to that board and use cookie cutters to make the shapes.”

He went over to the fancy mixer that Number One had in the apartment and set it up and pressed the buttons.

“Do you plan to stay here the duration of our leave, Captain?”

“Mm. Well. I don’t really know. I guess my mom’s going back to Riverside once she’s done visiting Sam and his family. And I guess she’d like it if I went back there and spent some time with her.”

“You are reluctant?”

“We get along pretty well these days, so I think it would be okay. I kind of like it here though. What about you, Spock? Are you going to spend any time on New Vulcan? Seeing your dad or whatever?”

“I am not so certain my father and I are getting along as well as you and your mother presently are,” Spock replied.

“Yeah? What’s the problem?” Jim removed the bowl from the mixer and brought the bowl over to the wooden cutting board where he planned on rolling out the dough.

“I suppose we are both a disappointment to each other.”

Jim looked over at Spock, met his dark eyes. “I can’t imagine anyone being disappointed in you.”

“I think that he expected me to leave Starfleet and settle on New Vulcan and help with the repopulation efforts,” Spock explained. “I had indicated to him that I would be willing to do so before I ultimately changed my mind.”

“I see. And he knows you broke up with Uhura?”

“Indeed. All the more reason his expectation was that I would go to New Vulcan.”

“So he thinks your relationship with her was the only reason you stayed?”

And now Jim had decided to think that might have been it, too. Shit. If Spock had stayed so that he could resume his relationship with Uhura, the fact that it was now over, might mean he’d rethink it. Especially with pressure coming from Sarek.

“What he thinks and the reality are two different things,” Spock replied. “He has never approved of my choices and it was foolish to ever believe that would change.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What is, is.” Spock picked up a cookie cutter as he watched Jim roll out the dough.

“Do you…well, is there any possibility of a reconciliation with Uhura?”

“Negative. As I said, we have different goals.”

Jim reached past Spock to pick up a cookie cutter. “Yeah? What was hers?”

“She wished to formally bond and marry so that we could begin a family of our own.”

The wine soured in Jim’s stomach and he felt a little queasy. He set down the cookie cutter.

“Jim? You do not look well.”

“I’m a little woozy. I’m going to get air.”

He opened up the slider to the balcony and stepped out into the cold night air. He sucked in a lung full of air.

Spock and Uhura bonded? ‘Well, where the hell had you thought they were headed?’ He asked himself. They’d been together for years. Couples that dated that long ultimately made some sort of commitment.

But wait. Spock had not. They had not. And he’d said they wanted different things. Uhura wanted to marry and clearly Spock did not for they’d broken up over it.

“Jim?” Spock asked from the door.

“Coming.”

He stepped toward the sliding door and noticed Spock took up most of the space. He expected the Vulcan to step aside to let him in, but instead Spock didn’t move and after a moment, he was forced to squeeze past Vulcan bulk.

“Are you better?” Spock asked, trying not to look anxious, it seemed.

“Yeah. Um. Sorry about that. Too much wine on an emptyish stomach. Haven’t eaten since I had lunch with my mom before her shuttle left.” Jim glanced at his blinking PADD. “Speaking of, that’s probably a message from her letting me know she got their safe.”

Sure enough it was. His mom’s message was, “Got here fine. Everyone is _so_ disappointed you didn’t come. Mom.”

Jim grimaced.

“Problem?”

“Not unless you call a guilt trip a problem.” He tried a smile. “So, then, you didn’t?”

“Captain?”

“Want to bond with Uhura.” He went back to the kitchen and stuck a cookie cutter man into the gingerbread.

“No, I did not.” Spock lowered his gaze as he took placed a cookie cutter into the dough. “I should have released Nyota from her romantic obligation to me long ago. It was not fair to her.”

“So, you never thought about bonding with her?” He moved the cutout man to the baking sheet.

Spock’s cheeks were a light dusted green again and Jim wondered if the heat of the kitchen was bothering his first officer. “Perhaps the thought had occurred when first we connected back in the academy but—”

“Spock, then why did you stay with her?”

“I care for Nyota a great deal and I have always enjoyed her companionship.”

Jim snorted. “Yeah, companionship.”

Spock seemed to be avoiding his gaze as he cut out several more gingerbread shapes. “I thought our relationship would grow to be mutually fulfilling but the longer we spent together the more our differences became clear. However, it was…more agreeable to maintain it then to end it unnecessarily.”

“Spock.”

“I am aware of the error in my thinking. And most especially when Nyota pressed the matter after our first five-year mission concluded. She thought it was the perfect time to have a bonding ceremony on New Vulcan between us.”

Jim nodded. “Break ups are never easy.”

“Have you experienced many, Captain?”

He smiled a little. “No. Not many. A few.”

“Doctor Marcus.”

“That was a…mistake. It was a grieving period for both of us and if I had been thinking properly, I wouldn’t have…anyway. I’m sorry it cost her a position on the Enterprise, but I think that’s for the best. As you know yourself, it’s very difficult to maintain an intimate relationship with a co-worker. You’re almost never away from them. You get no personal space. Most people can’t handle that. It proved to be an issue with Carol.”

Jim looked at the baking sheet now full of shapes. “Let’s just pop this in the oven.” He bent down and shoved the sheet inside, closing the door. When he straightened, he noticed Spock’s gaze slip away to another point in the kitchen.

“Want something to drink? Want to try that hot chocolate I mentioned? The lady at the store told me it was simply divine.” Jim laughed. “Her exact words.”

Spock swallowed slowly, his Adam’s apple sliding up and down his throat. “Yes. I would like to try it.”

Jim patted Spock’s shoulder. “Coming right up.” He stopped. Looked at Spock. “You’re okay, right?”

"Yes, Captain, why do you ask?”

“You look a little flushed. It’s not too warm in here, is it?”

“No. It is not.”

“Okay, good. Let’s get that chocolate.”

“Captain.”

“Yeah?”

“Vulcans and chocolate.” He stopped. Looked uncertain.

“Vulcans and chocolate?” Jim prompted.

“Nothing. We…like it,” Spock said.

“Great. Then it will be a treat for both of us.”

Spock nodded “Indeed.”


	4. My Heart Will Go On

Jim said something as he bent down to reach into the fridge.

Spock’s gaze went to his backside. He had tried not to look there, really. He had tried going through all the names of the elders on New Vulcan. Tried thinking of…well, anything but Jim’s round buttocks in his tight jeans as he bent over to pillage through the refrigerator.  

It was impossible.

He zeroed in on it and the way Jim’s shirt scooted up to reveal just a trace of back skin and the very top of Jim’s briefs. Gray, apparently.

Jim straightened suddenly and turned around, eyebrows raised and Spock quickly looked away, feeling his face heat. “Well?”

Spock attempted to look contemplative instead of guilty. “Captain?”

“Whipped cream?”

Which made Spock imagine Jim sipping the chocolate, topped with foamy white that would get all over his lips and touch his nose, and then his tongue would dart out and—

“Spock.”

“Yes. Thank you.”

Jim gave him a look and then shook the can he held and squirted it over the top of the two steaming mugs of hot chocolate. They were holiday mugs. One was red and white with the markings of the ancient myth of Santa Claus, and the other was brown with antlers, Spock assumed representing a reindeer.

It was this one Jim handed to Spock.

Admittedly, Spock was taking more of a chance than he was comfortable with. He had decided to come to San Francisco with the encouragement of first Nyota and then Doctor McCoy. He was here, presumably, to confess the illogical state of his feelings toward the captain. It was the ultimate reason Nyota had, as McCoy stated rather gleefully, _‘dumped’_ him.

It was most definitely true that he had intense, deep feelings for Jim that were not mere friendship, and he had been forced to admit this when confronted by Nyota directly, but he had also admitted he had no intention of ever acting on them. That did not sit well with Nyota in the least, thus why they were no longer spending their break together.

That Nyota had pushed him to confess to Jim had surprised Spock. But she had advised him that though she was still angry and hurt, she could only want him to be happy. Unfortunately, Spock was quite uncertain telling Jim that he…well, whatever he felt…would lead to a pleasing outcome.

And then he’d learned from McCoy that Jim would be at Number One’s old apartment in San Francisco. Alone.

Here he was.

And Jim was…alluring. Spock could not imagine in his wildest dreams why a creature as magnificently beautiful as Jim was, who could literally have anyone, and probably had, would want a stiff, unemotional Vulcan more into Science then love poems.

Being in Jim’s mere presence had left him both dazzled and unexpectedly tongue-tied. He’d attempted a few stolen Vulcan kisses but Jim seemed to be getting suspicious and not acting at all like Spock’s touch was welcome.

So, he had accepted the offer of chocolate hoping it would loosen him up a little, whatever that meant, so that he could make his intentions clearer to Jim should an opportunity arise.

He took the first sip of the chocolate himself, getting only whip cream. This seemed to amuse the captain for he laughed, shook his head, and brought his own mug to his lips.

Spock could not look away.

Sure enough, whipped cream dotted Jim’s lips and one drop clung to the tip of his nose. As Spock watched, Jim’s tongue came out to trace over his lips, sensually running over the white cream that lined them.

Spock gripped his mug tightly and took another sip, this time tasting, deep, rich chocolate that burned his tongue, but he cared not at all. It was completely delicious. And as Jim wiped at the cream on his nose, Spock took more sips.

“Isn’t it super hot?” Jim asked, noting that Spock was drinking quickly.

“Yes,” Spock said, drinking more.

Jim's PADD chirped and he glanced toward it. He set his mug down and gave Spock one of his apologetic smiles. “Hang on. I’d better see what that is.”

Spock watched him exit the kitchen and pick up his PADD. He finished his mug of chocolate and reached for Jim’s Santa mug. He just wanted a sip or two. After all, Jim’s lips had been on this mug.

Jim’s was even more delicious than his had been, Spock decided, and soon he’d drank all of Jim’s too. Spock turned back toward the pot on the stove where Jim had made the hot chocolate and noticed there was still some left. He refilled the Santa mug and drank that too.

The woman who had told his captain the chocolate was divine had been absolutely correct. He removed a spoon from a drawer and began to scrap the remnants from the pan. When he realized it was cool enough to dip his finger into it, he swiped his finger into the chocolate left in the pan over and over until there was barely anything left.

Where was the package? Should he make more?

“Spock?”

He turned to find Jim had returned to the kitchen and was now staring at him with wide blue eyes.

The bluest eyes Spock had ever seen. They were-they were magic.

“You have magic eyes,” he blurted out.

“What?”

Spock held out the empty pot. “We are out of chocolate.”

Jim’s gaze swept around the kitchen, on the mugs, on the pot, and then back to Spock. “I see that. Uh, Spock, when you said Vulcans like chocolate—”    

“The lady was correct.”

“Lady?”

“It _is_ divine. However, I drank yours, so you did not get to taste it, truly. We should make more.”

“Um, okay. We can.” Jim stepped closer and Spock stepped closer still. “Your eyes are dilated. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I am not.”

“You aren’t?”

“No. I am wonderful. The chocolate has made me wonderful.”

At that Jim laughed and it was rich and beautiful and Spock had no idea how he was supposed to resist this. Resist him.

“Spock, is there something you didn’t tell me? Something you kept from me?”

“Oh many things, Jim. Many.”

“Many things?” Jim’s lips twitched and turned up at the corners and Spock decided his lips were magic too. “Why don’t you start by telling me, is chocolate—”

“Wonderful, yes.”

“I gathered that. Does it affect you strangely?”

“How?”

“Intoxicate you perhaps?”

“Oh.” Spock nodded. “Yes, Captain. May I have more?”


	5. You're in My Heart, You're in My Soul

Spock was glad when Jim agreed to make another batch of hot chocolate.

At first he’d gotten that look on his face that sometimes Spock greatly appreciated and other times not so much.

His captain’s look. Spock sometimes wished he wore it more often, actually, but just now, he wanted an indulgent Jim not an authoritative Jim.

“All right. Just one more pot though,” Jim said, eying him with a little unease.

Spock scooted closer to Jim as he stood at the stove stirring the delicious concoction. He turned his face toward Jim’s hair and ear, inhaling softly.

“Uh. Did you just smell me?”

“Your scent is particularly appealing tonight,” Spock replied.

Jim gave him a side-eyed look that Spock did not quite understand. He shook his head and did not say anything which Spock thought might be for the best.

“Hand me your cup there,” Jim said after a moment.

Spock scooped up the reindeer mug and held it out.

“I think that was mine.” Jim filled it up anyway and Spock took it, handing Jim the Santa one.

Spock turned away and took several gulps of the decadent brew. It tasted even better than the last one and Spock found himself chuckling.

“Spock? Are you _laughing_?”

He turned to face Jim. “I am overcome with unexpected merriment at the moment.”

“Right. You drank that fast. Did you burn your tongue?”

“Yes.” Spock took another drink.

Jim blinked several times but then lifted the Santa mug to his lips and took a drink. Spock stared fixedly as he watched his captain swallow.

“You have a particularly attractive way of swallowing, ashayam.”

“Did you just call me someone else’s name?”

Spock tilted his head and then finished his mug of chocolate. “I do not believe so.” He reached for Jim’s and pulled it out of his hands and began to drink from that too.

“Who’s ashayam?” Jim sighed and scooped up Spock’s empty cup. “You know what? Never mind. I think you’ve definitely had enough chocolate though.”

He left the kitchen and headed for his PADD and Spock had no idea why for he had not explained and his PADD had not made any particular noise as it had last time.

In any event, it did not matter as that meant the remaining chocolate was left unguarded. Spock approached the pot, saw there was indeed about another cupful and poured it in what was left in the Santa mug. He drank greedily from it.

_“Shit!”_

Spock poked the spoon into the pot, ignoring his beloved’s rather rude exclamation.

“Spock!”

“Is something amiss, James?”

“Yes something is amiss. _James_?”

Spock smiled and began to lick the remains of the chocolate out of the pot. “Is that not your name?”

“Yeah, but, you never call me that. Spock, what the fuck are you doing?”

“I am attempting to get every last drop of chocolate, James.”

Jim pulled the pot out of Spock’s hands. “It makes you drunk.”

“Captain?”

“The chocolate. It intoxicates you. I just looked it up. Why didn’t I know that?”

“Perhaps because it was not information I ever disclosed to you and I doubt that you thought to look up random Vulcan facts.” Spock shrugged. “Tonight is only the second time I have ever had any.”

“Oh.” Jim licked his lips. “Well. That’s enough of that. We should, um, we should get back to decorating the gingerbread men. The cookies I took out earlier are probably cool now.”

Spock followed closely behind Jim as he stepped over to the baked gingerbread men Jim had placed on a cooling rack.

“You want to make yours Vulcans?”

Spock just stared.

Jim sighed. “Here.” He took a shape that he had declared earlier looked more like an infant than a man because it had come out a little deformed and then grabbed a bag which contained white frosting. “We’ll make this one into a baby.”

“I would love to have Vulcan babies with you, James.”

Jim dropped the frosting bag and turned to Spock, his mouth hanging open. “What?”

“What?”

“Spock, I think maybe you’d better sit down. Do you feel all right? You’re not going to puke are you?”

“I have never in my life expelled the contents of my stomach,” Spock advised him. “But I would not be opposed to sitting.”

He reveled in the touch of Jim as Jim wrapped his hand around Spock’s bare wrist and tugged him toward the living room. Normally he should be getting Jim’s emotions, at least a little, but either Jim was a master of hiding them, even unintentionally, or the chocolate was preventing Spock from concentrating.

Spock found himself being pushed gently into a big plush chair. He took the opportunity to pull Jim down with him and onto his lap.

“Spock!”

“You are right, James, sitting is a better idea.”

Jim laughed. “God, you’re a little nuts like this.”

“Nuts for you,” Spock said, smiling.

“Clearly you don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I do know. I may be-may be slightly affected by that most delicious chocolate—I request that we purchase a supply of it prior to our departure on the next mission—”

“More than slightly, I’d say, Mister Spock.”

“I like the way you say that.”

Jim’s brows furrowed. “Say what?”

“Mister Spock. It is very sultry.”

He laughed again and tried to get off Spock’s lap but Spock held him there. “Spock, come on. This is ridiculous.”

“I find holding you here quite pleasing.”

Jim pursed his lips. “When was the last time you had anything to eat?”

“I had chocolate.”

“Yes, I know,” Jim said with a roll of his eyes. “Eat. Like a plate of parsnips or something.”

“I do not enjoy parsnips particularly.”

“Spock.”

“Some hours ago, my James.”

“Well, I think maybe we need to get you some food. I think there’s a little store that might be open a couple of blocks beyond the one I went to earlier. It’s a bit of a walk but the fresh air might clear your head a bit.”

“Will you go with me?”

“Of course.”

“Then very well, I will go. But we cannot be parted.”

“Uh—”

“Parted and never parted.”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever you say. But you have to let me up so I can get our coats.”

Spock put his fingers on Jim’s jaw. “Never and always touching.”

“You’re, uh, touching me now.”

“Yes. Touching. More touching.”

“I don’t think so, Spock. Not while you’re like this.” Jim struggled to get up and this time Spock let him. “Stay there for a second.”

Jim returned only a moment later wearing a coat and holding one out for Spock. “Okay, Spock get up.”

Spock dutifully stood and allowed his captain to put the coat on him. Jim stood in front of him and adjusted the buttons and fastenings on the coat until he made sure every inch of Spock seemed to be covered. At least from the neck down.

Jim smiled at him. “Okay?”

“Yes,” Spock whispered. “Jim.”

“Yeah?”

“I like you.”

The smile he gave Spock was easily the most beautiful Spock had ever seen. It was just a hint of his teeth, which Spock secretly found too adorable for words, or perhaps not so secret really since Nyota knew, and for several moments Spock just basked in that smile, and knew that it was only for him, all for him, and nobody else could have it.

“I like you too,” Jim said softly.

“No. I mean…” Spock took a deep breath and if his head was still quite airy, he tried to ignore it. “I like you like you like you like you.”

There was a twist of those magnificent lips that Spock had yet to get to taste. “I know. I kind of figured it out. And I like you like you like you like you too.”

“Just like?”

Jim laughed. “Spock.”

“I want—”

But Jim shook his head, not letting him finish. “No. I don’t take advantage of intoxicated Vulcans no matter what you may have heard.”

“How many have you ran across?”

“Just you actually. But if you and I are going to…do this.” He gestured to both of them. “We need clear heads. Clear minds. And under no influences. Except maybe our own hormones.”

Spock reluctantly nodded. “You are wise.”

Again the laugh. “Now I know you’re not in your right mind.” He pulled on Spock’s arm. “Come on, Commander. Let’s go for a walk.”

Spock gladly followed Jim out of the apartment and was pleased when Jim did not let go of his arm. “I do feel slightly strange.”

Jim grinned. “Only slightly?”

“Yes. I do think you were wise to stop my consumption of the delicious chocolate when you did.”

They got into the lift.

“Still want us to get some for the next mission?”

“Yes.”

“You got it.”

They went outside when they reached the ground floor and Jim still had a hold of Spock. He almost said he didn’t need Jim to keep him steady, but he found he wanted any excuse to keep touching Jim even through clothes, and if that made them throw him out of being a Vulcan, then he would live with it. Somehow.

It was cold, there was no doubt about that. But it did not feel so bad walking beside his captain.

“Jim?”

“Yes, Spock?”

“Why were you going to spend the time alone?”

Jim gave him that little intimate smile again and it warmed Spock more than a hundred cups of chocolate. “Well, I’m not now.”

“Do people go for walks on Christmas Eve?”

Jim laughed. “We do.”

“How far is this place? It seems far.”

“Spock, just shut up and walk, will you?”

Spock pursed his lips and kept walking. But after a while he could not help but ask, “Are we there yet?”

“Spock!”

Totally worth it.


	6. The Heart Wants What it Wants

“Okay, sit there, Spock.” Jim pointed to a little tiny metal table that had two rickety chairs beside it.

But considering it was Christmas Eve, Jim figured he was likely lucky the store owner let them use it.

It had taken a bit of bribery in that Jim had to sign several objects for the owner to sell in his store and also for his grandson. Apparently some people considered him famous, though Jim thought that was more than a little ridiculous.

So he had a cup of peppermint chocolate coffee for him and a cup of tea the proprietor advised was called Christmas for Spock.

The store had been surprisingly crowded, which Jim supposed  wasn’t as surprising really as he thought it was considering it was the only store open on Christmas Eve this late.

“Penny for your thoughts.”

Jim glanced at Spock in surprise. “What?”

“Is that not the saying?” He looked adorably rumpled, his hair askew, his coat pulled up tight around his neck like he was freezing in the snow or something. There was no snow and they were sitting inside.

“It is.” Jim smiled. “I wasn’t really thinking anything. Other than I can’t really believe you’re here with me. Tonight. Or at all really.”

Spock shifted and then stared into the mug of tea he held. “I-I have something to confess, Captain.”

Uh, oh, back to captain. He smiled encouragingly.

“I have acted towards you unethically.”

“How so?”

“Kissing you…on the sly.”

Jim laughed. He could not help it. Spock saying “on the sly”.  Clearly the chocolate had not completely worn off. “Because of the chocolate—”

“Negative.” And Spock unexpectedly lowered his gaze.  “Before the chocolate.”

Jim shook his head. “But you didn’t—”

Spock’s gaze rose then, hot and slightly feverish. “May I have your hand?”

Jim gave it willingly but frowned slightly as Spock stroked his fingers along Jim’s.

“This is a Vulcan kiss, Jim. And I have been…sneaking them.”

Jim smiled gently and rubbed his fingers back over Spock’s. “That’s your big confession?”

“Jim, I do not think you understand the severity of my indiscretion. I—”

“Spock, I’m thrilled.”

“What?”

“To find out you’ve been harboring these feelings for me—”

“For a long time,” Spock said softly.

Jim’s smile widened. “For a long time and were too timid to speak of it—”

“You are rather intimidating.”

“ _Me_?” Jim burst out laughing.

“You could have _anyone_ , why would you want someone such as me?”

He almost laughed because the idea of Spock thinking himself unworthy of Jim or even anyone was so ludicrous, but laughing would be the worst thing, he realized, and Spock looked so vulnerable and sincere, that Jim knew he had to tread very carefully.

“Oh, Spock, sweetheart, you are all I have ever wanted.”

Spock stared at him, rather wide-eyed. “Yes?”

Jim squeezed the hand he held. “God, yes. I don’t like you, Spock. Or like you like you like you like you. I love you. Desperately.”

Spock opened his mouth as though to answer, but then he lost several shades of color. “Jim, I…I think I have lied to you.”

“Spock?”

“I think for the first time, I am about to expel the contents of my stomach.” Spock leaned over in the chair.

Jim moved away just in time.

****

“The tree is very pretty,” Spock said as he stood next to Jim back in the apartment sometime later. Jim had switched on the battery operated lights and had turned down the overhead lights so the living room was mostly lit by the tree.

Spock had showered and changed into one of his Vulcan robes. He was very subdued but he stood very close to Jim. As though he feared being away from Jim even a little. Jim found he rather felt the same way.

“It is. How are you feeling, Spock?”

“I am mortified.”

“You just aren’t used to so much chocolate. Maybe next time just a little?”

“I am not sure I can have any more any time soon,” Spock mentioned. “How do you do this with alcohol?”

“You build up a tolerance. And actually I’ve gotten shit-faced a few times.”

Spock shuddered. “That does not sound appealing.”

Jim put his hand on Spock’s back. “Stomach okay now?”

“Yes. Jim? I wish to spend more than the Christmas holidays with you.”

“I figured.”

“Vulcans do not do casual relationships.”

“Neither do I.”

“But—”

Jim smiled and turned Spock to face them, holding onto Spock’s biceps. “I’ve never had a relationship, Spock. Because I can’t do them.”

“But—”

“I’ve never wanted one. But I do now. And I feel anything but casual about it.”

“I cherish thee,” Spock whispered.

“Want to go to bed? To sleep,” Jim added.

Spock stepped closer. “I want to sleep with you in all ways.”

Jim laughed. “Me too. But when you feel better. We have our lives ahead of us, Spock. Together.”

“Parted and never parted.”

“Never and always touching.”

Spock leaned into him. “We will never be lonely again. Either of us. Never alone.”

“Never. We’ve muddled through enough, haven’t we?”

“Yes.”

Jim kissed him softly. “Come on, Spock. Let’s go cuddle.”

“I would say that Vulcans do not cuddle, but for you, I want to cuddle.”

Jim took his hand and dragged him off toward the bedrooms. Spock had an extra sleeping robe and he looked so hopeful when he suggested Jim wear it, that Jim did, even though Jim felt entirely too warm in it. And they lay together in the bed in Jim’s chosen room, wrapped in each other’s arms.

“Best damn holidays ever,” Jim whispered.

“You do not miss spending it with your family?”

“You are my family.”

“Still, your mother—”

“I love my mother. But she needed to see Sam and his kids. And well—”

“You have not forgiven your brother for his abandonment of you.”

“No.” He laid his head on Spock’s chest. “Maybe someday. I don’t know. I know it’s wrong to hold onto the bitterness. It’s not logical.”

“You are not a logical being.”

“Too true.” Jim laughed. “Go to sleep Spock. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

****

It was a few days later when they went together to the shuttle bay to pick up his mom from her return from Deneva.

They’d spent those days getting to know each other very well indeed. Sex had always been great, Jim acknowledged. But with Spock it reached some kind of transcendence. They’d barely risen from their bed the whole time. And neither of them had much to complain about.

Spock hadn’t had much experience with sex with males when they’d began, but he was sure an expert now, Jim thought with a knowing smile. He’d been a very quick and eager learner. And it had turned out some of the distant rumors he had heard about Vulcan was quite true.

Jim exchanged a warm look with his first as they stood side by side waiting as the passengers got off the shuttle.

The moment his mom spotted them she broke out into a wide smile and rushed down the ramp toward them.

She threw her arms around Jim, even as she dropped several packages to do so. “Baby! I missed you.”

Jim laughed and patted her back. “Hi Mom. How was Deneva?”

“Fun. But we wished you were there.” She touched his cheek and then turned to Spock with an even bigger smile.

“Spock, this is Mom. Mom, this is him. This is Spock.”

She went to Spock and hesitated just a moment before she embraced him and to Jim’s surprise, Spock hugged her back. “Welcome to the family, Spock.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Kirk.”

“You can call me Mom.”

“Mom!” Jim laughed. “Vulcan remember. Give him a tiny break.”

“Okay,” she said with an eye roll. “Winona then.”

“Thank you, Winona.”

She looped a hand into each of their arms. “Now, what do you say you two handsome boys take a starving mom to lunch?”

“I am a little hungry,” Jim said, smiling over her head at Spock.

“There’s this little place called Humphrey’s downtown. Not that far from the Academy. Jim’s father and I used to go there. Are you game, Spock?”

Spock’s lips twitched very slightly. “Jim told me about it. And I am game.”

“But Spock will be skipping the hot cocoa.”

Spock quirked a brow. “Indeed.”

“I’ll have enough for both of us,” Mom said with a laugh.

And it was a good time. A good year. And though by the next holiday season, Jim and Spock would be on the Enterprise again for another five year mission, and the fates would not allow them to all be together, they’d muddle through it again, somehow, and anyway, they had each other now and their troubles were miles away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally this is a wrap. I got super sick over Christmas and just couldn't finish it in time. Ended up in the ER. I also didn't have the strength to include sex this time so it ended up being PG-13. Sorry.  
> For the title and theme here, I went with the Judy Garland version of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas which appeared in the movie Meet Me In St. Louis. It has slightly more poignant, sadder lyrics then many of the more modern versions you hear these days.  
> Hope you enjoyed these two getting together. I adored them.


End file.
